Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Words Over Coffee (Part 2)

I delayed for quite some time. I stared blankly at the screen for about half an hour, I’m sure that isn’t unusual, I know people who do nothing but stare at screens- it seems to be their life.

Strangely- in the end- I didn’t even need to message her. She popped up before I typed anything.

Mel: Do you think I’m a bad person?

Interesting- I could definitely play this to my advantage.

Me: Terrible- what kind of a person has a skinny latte?

Nailed it.

Mel: Don’t joke; you know what I mean…

Okay- she wants to be serious- I can totally do serious.

Me: I don’t recall ever calling you a terrible person Melanie, why would you think that?

Mel: You may not have said it in so many words… but you may as well have said so.

Is that really how I came across?

Me: Well let me put your fears at rest- I don’t think you are a terrible person, and I never have…

What word to use? Stupid? Stupid is too harsh. Silly? Silly is too gentle. Idiotic? Idiotic makes her sound like she believes Asia is a country. Goddamn- come on! You are better than this!

Me: …Good at making bad decisions? Sure. Misguided? Definitely… but never a bad person. I don’t believe you have it in you to be bad.

Oh god, she is taking a long time to reply… I thought I came across as ambiguous, was I too harsh? Have I done it again? Repeating history was fucking stupid- and cliché too. Oh- she’s replied.

Mel: Misguided… in my choice of men?

Me: Bingo.

Mel: What was wrong with Metro?

She cannot be serious. I mean- seriously- she cannot be serious.

Me: You serious?


Mel: Seriously.

I become aware that serious now doesn’t even sound like a word anymore. I guess an explanation is in order.

Me: Did I not mention he was named after the underground?

Mel: No.

Me: I didn’t?

I didn’t? Shit! No, I just thought about it.

Me: Well my apologies- I was wrong- he’s a newspaper:

Proud of myself? Yeah- I’m proud of myself.

Mel: Haha, alright, aside from his name?

Me: Honestly… you don’t see the faults in him?
The many,


Maybe I overdid it- just a tad.

Me: Fine- honestly- do you want me to list them?

Mel: If that is what it takes.

Me: Fine.
He dresses like a douchebag.
He looks like a douchebag.
He acts like a douchebag.

Mel: Are you sure you aren’t just envious of him?

Goddamn you Melanie, you just set me up for this shit.

Me: Wow, Melanie- you got me- you caught me red handed. I AM envious of him, I am so, so jealous. I just wish I could be as clever as him, and as cool. I just wish I had his natural charm and wit.

Mel: I noticed you missed out looks.

Low blow Melanie, low blow.

Me: Fine- he is a better physical specimen than me, he has a better body and he is better looking- is that what you wanted to hear?

Mel: It is nice to know you have some humility.

Me: Humility? When have I ever given you the impression that I am anything less the a humble soul?

What is she even talking about? I’ve never been a cocky individual- not like her beloved Metro.

Mel: I’ve seen what you do to people on Facebook, I’ve seen how you bring them down, you think you are really clever knocking people down a peg or two?

Wow, here I am talking about how my actions online have no consequence in my day to day life, and here we are- evidence to the contrary. I feel pretty shitty about myself- but that’s okay, time to fight back.

Me: Have you seen the people I ‘knock down a peg or two’ do you really care about any of them? They deserve to be hung up to dry- get it? Peg? Washing line?

Yeah- god, I’m a complete twat. Did I really just write that? Fuck me!

Mel: Hilarious.

Me: Okay- look- do you want me to apologise for what I’ve said to people?

Mel: No, I just always thought better of you.

Me: When did this become an attack on me, exactly?

Mel: Probably when you started attacking my boyfriend!

Me: First of all- I would never do that- have you seen that guy? And second- I’m pretty sure you asked me to tell you what I disliked about him.

Stephen! Stop with all the smart-arse bullshit!

Me: Okay, I’m sorry.

Mel: It’s okay, I’m just having a bit of a crisis, and I thought seeing you again might ground me or something… I don’t know.


Me: What do you mean?

Mel: I’m just having trouble figuring out what I’m doing with my life you know? I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore.


Me: The whole law degree thing?

Mel: Jesus Stephen, you wouldn’t believe the amount of fucking work that goes into a law degree! I’ve never been so stressed in my life…

Me: know I asked this before, but honestly now, why did you change your career choice?

It’s a while before she answers, and I find that I’m genuinely curious as to what she has to say, and find myself even somewhat concerned about her future.

Mel: You know what people think of girls who do beauty courses don’t you?

Me: I have a good idea.

Mel: I don’t want people to think that I’m some dumb bimbo who doesn’t care about anything other than manicures and hair extensions.

I sigh deeply.

Me: Melanie, I never saw you that way, I mean sure, you took a lot of care and pride in your looks, still do I imagine, but that does not mean you are that kind of person, you know what I saw? I saw a girl who was following her dreams, not some idiot who has no other options, if you wanted to do that, and it made you happy, why should you give a fuck about what anyone else thinks?

Mel: Thank you, Stephen.

Those three little words seem to mean so much. Why?

Me: You’re welcome, Melanie.

Me: BTW, I’m assuming you are actually good at hair and beauty- because if you aren’t, well then, ignore everything I just said :P

Mel: Want me to come round and do your makeup some time?

Me: I don’t know- will it make me prettier than your boyfriend?

Mel: Never. xD

We actually have some back and forth going on, this is good right? But- I’m going to have to bring the tone down- again.

Me: You know he is no good for you, don't you?

There is some delay this time.

Mel: I don’t know, Stephen-

Me: All joking aside, apart from his name- and my Jesus fucking Christ- it is a goddamn stupid name- I mean seriously- Metro? Were his parents’ tube dwellers?

I’m straying from my point again aren’t I?

Me: Sorry.

Me: What I’m trying to say is, you’ve never had anyone who has been even remotely on your level, emotionally or mentally. Metro is just the same- yes he’s buff, and yes he is good looking, but all he really is… is a sack of shit decorated with daisies.

Me: Ermm… I don’t really know why I chose that particular image to demonstrate my point. I’ll be honest I don’t think a sack of shit is made all that more appealing if decorated with daises. It just sounded good, okay?

Me: Sorry. Again.

And now I wait. I wonder why I still care so much, why I am going to such lengths to try and sabotage this relationship of hers? Is it because I still have feelings for her buried somewhere deep down, or is it simply because of my burning hatred of Metro? Probably a bit of both- god- could I really still have feelings for this girl? I thought I was over all this shit.

Mel: I don’t know Stephen- sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.

Me: Well how many leaps of faith have you taken Melanie? And how many times have you fallen flat on your backside?

Mel: I’m sorry, Stephen.

Me: Sorry for what?

Mel: For hurting you.

Oh God, no.

Me: It’s fine Melanie, it’s not your fault.

I need to think of something to stop her on this path she is heading down. Quickly! Quickly!

Me: Listen, It’s not my place to dictate your life, if you want to see Metro that is entirely up to you, all I ask is that you listen to what I say and take it on board, because- I still care about you.
Now I really should go.

Mel: Oh, okay, well thank you Stephen.

Mel: Speak to you again, soon?

Me: Definitely.

Mel: Okay, bye then x

Me: Goodbye, Melanie.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Should I have put a kiss? goddamn, it's too late now! I don't even know anymore!

You let your guard down Stephen, and it bit you in the ass, well done! It would seem that I do- in fact- still have feelings for Melanie, even after all this time, and all these years, and everything I have learnt, I still care. I think this probably calls for another coffee meet. Maybe this time, she can leave her heavily muscled newspaper at home…

End of Part 2

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