I delayed for quite some time. I stared blankly at the screen for about half an hour, I’m sure that isn’t unusual, I know people who do nothing but stare at screens- it seems to be their life.
Strangely- in the end- I didn’t even need to message her. She popped up before I typed anything.
Mel: Do you think I’m a bad person?
Interesting- I could definitely play this to my advantage.
Me: Terrible- what kind of a person has a skinny latte?
Mel: Don’t joke; you know what I mean…
Okay- she wants to be serious- I can totally do serious.
Me: I don’t recall ever calling you a terrible person Melanie, why would you think that?
Mel: You may not have said it in so many words… but you may as well have said so.
Is that really how I came across?
Me: Well let me put your fears at rest- I don’t think you are a terrible person, and I never have…
What word to use? Stupid? Stupid is too harsh. Silly? Silly is too gentle. Idiotic? Idiotic makes her sound like she believes Asia is a country. Goddamn- come on! You are better than this!
Me: …Good at making bad decisions? Sure. Misguided? Definitely… but never a bad person. I don’t believe you have it in you to be bad.
Oh god, she is taking a long time to reply… I thought I came across as ambiguous, was I too harsh? Have I done it again? Repeating history was fucking stupid- and cliché too. Oh- she’s replied.
Mel: Misguided… in my choice of men?
Mel: What was wrong with Metro?
She cannot be serious. I mean- seriously- she cannot be serious.
Me: You serious?
I become aware that serious now doesn’t even sound like a word anymore. I guess an explanation is in order.
Me: Did I not mention he was named after the underground?
Me: I didn’t?
I didn’t? Shit! No, I just thought about it.
Me: Well my apologies- I was wrong- he’s a newspaper: http://metro.co.uk/
Proud of myself? Yeah- I’m proud of myself.
Mel: Haha, alright, aside from his name?
Me: Honestly… you don’t see the faults in him?
Mel: ALRIGHT! I GET IT!
Maybe I overdid it- just a tad.
Me: Fine- honestly- do you want me to list them?
Mel: If that is what it takes.
He dresses like a douchebag.
He looks like a douchebag.
He acts like a douchebag.
Mel: Are you sure you aren’t just envious of him?
Goddamn you Melanie, you just set me up for this shit.
Me: Wow, Melanie- you got me- you caught me red handed. I AM envious of him, I am so, so jealous. I just wish I could be as clever as him, and as cool. I just wish I had his natural charm and wit.
Mel: I noticed you missed out looks.
Low blow Melanie, low blow.
Me: Fine- he is a better physical specimen than me, he has a better body and he is better looking- is that what you wanted to hear?
Mel: It is nice to know you have some humility.
Me: Humility? When have I ever given you the impression that I am anything less the a humble soul?
What is she even talking about? I’ve never been a cocky individual- not like her beloved Metro.
Mel: I’ve seen what you do to people on Facebook, I’ve seen how you bring them down, you think you are really clever knocking people down a peg or two?
Wow, here I am talking about how my actions online have no consequence in my day to day life, and here we are- evidence to the contrary. I feel pretty shitty about myself- but that’s okay, time to fight back.
Me: Have you seen the people I ‘knock down a peg or two’ do you really care about any of them? They deserve to be hung up to dry- get it? Peg? Washing line?
Yeah- god, I’m a complete twat. Did I really just write that? Fuck me!
Me: Okay- look- do you want me to apologise for what I’ve said to people?
Mel: No, I just always thought better of you.
Me: When did this become an attack on me, exactly?
Mel: Probably when you started attacking my boyfriend!
Me: First of all- I would never do that- have you seen that guy? And second- I’m pretty sure you asked me to tell you what I disliked about him.
Stephen! Stop with all the smart-arse bullshit!
Me: Okay, I’m sorry.
Mel: It’s okay, I’m just having a bit of a crisis, and I thought seeing you again might ground me or something… I don’t know.
Me: What do you mean?
Mel: I’m just having trouble figuring out what I’m doing with my life you know? I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore.
Me: The whole law degree thing?
Mel: Jesus Stephen, you wouldn’t believe the amount of fucking work that goes into a law degree! I’ve never been so stressed in my life…
Me: know I asked this before, but honestly now, why did you change your career choice?
It’s a while before she answers, and I find that I’m genuinely curious as to what she has to say, and find myself even somewhat concerned about her future.
Mel: You know what people think of girls who do beauty courses don’t you?
Me: I have a good idea.
Mel: I don’t want people to think that I’m some dumb bimbo who doesn’t care about anything other than manicures and hair extensions.
I sigh deeply.
Me: Melanie, I never saw you that way, I mean sure, you took a lot of care and pride in your looks, still do I imagine, but that does not mean you are that kind of person, you know what I saw? I saw a girl who was following her dreams, not some idiot who has no other options, if you wanted to do that, and it made you happy, why should you give a fuck about what anyone else thinks?
Mel: Thank you, Stephen.
Those three little words seem to mean so much. Why?
Me: You’re welcome, Melanie.
Me: BTW, I’m assuming you are actually good at hair and beauty- because if you aren’t, well then, ignore everything I just said :P
Mel: Want me to come round and do your makeup some time?
Me: I don’t know- will it make me prettier than your boyfriend?
Mel: Never. xD
We actually have some back and forth going on, this is good right? But- I’m going to have to bring the tone down- again.
Me: You know he is no good for you, don't you?
There is some delay this time.
Mel: I don’t know, Stephen-
Me: All joking aside, apart from his name- and my Jesus fucking Christ- it is a goddamn stupid name- I mean seriously- Metro? Were his parents’ tube dwellers?
I’m straying from my point again aren’t I?
Me: What I’m trying to say is, you’ve never had anyone who has been even remotely on your level, emotionally or mentally. Metro is just the same- yes he’s buff, and yes he is good looking, but all he really is… is a sack of shit decorated with daisies.
Me: Ermm… I don’t really know why I chose that particular image to demonstrate my point. I’ll be honest I don’t think a sack of shit is made all that more appealing if decorated with daises. It just sounded good, okay?
Me: Sorry. Again.
And now I wait. I wonder why I still care so much, why I am going to such lengths to try and sabotage this relationship of hers? Is it because I still have feelings for her buried somewhere deep down, or is it simply because of my burning hatred of Metro? Probably a bit of both- god- could I really still have feelings for this girl? I thought I was over all this shit.
Mel: I don’t know Stephen- sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.
Me: Well how many leaps of faith have you taken Melanie? And how many times have you fallen flat on your backside?
Mel: I’m sorry, Stephen.
Me: Sorry for what?
Mel: For hurting you.
Oh God, no.
Me: It’s fine Melanie, it’s not your fault.
I need to think of something to stop her on this path she is heading down. Quickly! Quickly!
Me: Listen, It’s not my place to dictate your life, if you want to see Metro that is entirely up to you, all I ask is that you listen to what I say and take it on board, because- I still care about you.
Now I really should go.
Mel: Oh, okay, well thank you Stephen.
Mel: Speak to you again, soon?
Mel: Okay, bye then x
Me: Goodbye, Melanie.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Should I have put a kiss? goddamn, it's too late now! I don't even know anymore!
You let your guard down Stephen, and it bit you in the ass, well done! It would seem that I do- in fact- still have feelings for Melanie, even after all this time, and all these years, and everything I have learnt, I still care. I think this probably calls for another coffee meet. Maybe this time, she can leave her heavily muscled newspaper at home…
End of Part 2
End of Part 2