Friday 9 August 2013

Just... Hello

Okay, so I wanted to see if I could write a short love story in 1000 words or less... I failed, it's actually over 1,100... but y'know, I'm only human... Jesus!

Anyway, here it is:

I lightly knock on the door. Three times.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I hear footsteps and my heart starts to pound inside my chest. My eyes start to water, my hands tremble, my knees shake. I could faint, the heat is intense, and the light is blinding. I start to panic, thoughts rushing through my head at a speed that does not allow me to linger on a single idea for more than a second. I start to question why I am here, I start to question if I should leave, I still have time- I could run and never look back, I could abandon this foolish endeavour and just leave. I don’t want to though. I want to be here, but I have to remind myself- more than once- that is what I believe, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t true. Still, I’m plagued with doubts and apprehension; I don’t know what the reaction to me being here will be. I don’t know if I’m wanted. Again, the feeling that I should run comes back to me, but this time it is too late, the footsteps have stopped on the other side of the door, if I were to run now, I would be caught, and it would all have been for nothing, I would show my cowardice and conflicted mind. There’s no time for any of that though- not anymore- the lock clicks and the door swings open.

It isn’t her.

“Hello?”

I fumble for words, spluttering, choking on my own saliva. I eventually manage to articulate some form of greeting.

“Hi, is Juliette there?”

“Ermmm- yes, I’ll get her for you- and who are you?”

“Felix.”

“Give me a minute,” the door closes, slamming in my face. I can hear words being spoken out of sight, but I cannot make out what they are saying. I could run now- no, don’t be ridiculous, she knows you are here now, he will tell her it is you, and then she will come to the door, expecting to see you, only to find you have run away- how stupid are you?

The door opens once again, this time; she is standing there, looking as beautiful as ever, radiant in the fading glow of the afternoon sun. Her deep blue eyes sparkle, as they always do, and look directly at mine. The freckles on her cheeks seem to have multiplied due to the amount of sunlight she had been exposed to over the past few days, although she never burned, her skin seemed to have an inability to flaw, instead obtaining nothing but a light, golden complexion. She opens her mouth to speak-

“Felix, what are you doing here?”

I breathe heavily- in and out, in and out- trying my best to focus.

“I came to see you, I couldn’t leave things the way we left them-“

“What are you trying to say?”

The words I had set in my mind beforehand have abandoned me, her beauty has swept them away, and I am left lost, sinking into a void where articulate expression is impossible, unthinkable even. I have no choice but to try and say what I am feeling, simply from the top of my head and the bottom of my heart.

“I’m trying to say- these past few days- we started out strangers, and now, well now I don’t know what we are. But what we’ve shared, all that we’ve done, you cannot deny that there is something between us, something confusing, something ridiculous, something that probably shouldn’t be there- but it is, and I cannot stop myself from feeling it, and I cannot stop myself from thinking about you. I have spent every day trying my hardest to fight my affection, but it has all been in vain. I know you are engaged, I know you are here with your fiancé, but something tells me that you do not love him the way that you could potentially love me. You have spent these last few days apart, without barely a second thought, and that must mean that somewhere deep down you know that he isn’t right for you. Maybe I am way out of depth, maybe I am being arrogant and presumptuous, maybe I am way out of line, but everything I say, I am saying because I have the deepest admiration and love for you, one that I have never felt with any other human being on this earth. So- I guess that is it- it’s your turn now- say something- please- before I start hyperventilating and I collapse.” I chuckle nervously, feeling physically sick, my eyes blurring.

“You shouldn’t have come here Felix- not now.”

“I had to, even if you don’t feel the same way, I at least had to let you know, I will understand if you want to stay with him, because he makes you happy, and I want nothing more than your happiness, but if you look at the reality of the situation- I don’t think that is entirely true”

“I can’t- I can’t say or do anything, not here, not right now.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying you aren’t wrong, and I have feelings for you- I do, I shouldn’t, but I do, but this isn’t the time or the place to act on impulse, it will only make things more complicated. I need some time to work things out, I need some time to figure out what I need to do, and what is right. I cannot just run into the sunset with you, that isn’t real life.”

I relax my shoulders, a sense of wonder and also relief presenting itself to me. She loves me too. She loves me!

“I know-so what do you want me to do?”

“Leave, you have to, and I will contact you when I am ready.”

“How long?”

“I can’t say Felix- I don’t know, I don’t know how I’m going to tell him, I don’t know how I’m going to break off this engagement.” Her eyes fill with tears and I immediately feel guilty for putting her through this. What am I doing?

“I’m sorry-“

“It’s not your fault that I love you, Felix” she pauses, and then smiles gently, “well- actually- I suppose it is.”
“You’re welcome.” I grin, unable to contain my happiness.

“Now go- leave- before I change my mind!”

I hesitate, unsure if I should- but I do. I plant a kiss on her lips and turn to leave.

“How am I going to explain to him why you visited?” she says, just as I am about to walk out of earshot.


“Tell him I just came to say hello,” I smile, “just… hello.”

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